Mental Health Awareness Month - Tools to Thrive With IFC Counseling

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, we asked the mental health professionals at our local wellness and therapeutic-based businesses about the tools they use to help support their mental health. Check out this guest blog from Ritamaria Laird, therapist and clinical director at Individual and Family Connection, and let us know your takeaways.

Ways the Covid-19 Pandemic Has Impacted Our Teen’s ‘Essence’ and How We Can Support, RitaMaria Laird

Parenting is hard. Parenting a teen is really hard. Parenting a teen during a pandemic is unimaginably difficult (because being a teen during a pandemic is unimaginably difficult). Dr. Dan Siegal, among other things, is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, is a leading psychologist in the field of neuroscience, and has dedicated his research to learning more about the developments of the teenage brain. Siegal encourages us to shift our focus from thinking teens are full of drama and chaos, to embracing the bravery and creativity that is emerging! We can do this by cultivating 4 vital features of development that are happening in the adolescent brain. Something that Siegal calls “The ESSENCE of Adolescence”. You learn more about this concept in his book: Brainstorm: the power & purpose of the adolescent brain (2013). 

“ES” or Emotional Spark is to blame for our teen’s big emotions and moodiness. While it is difficult to experience emotional storms and moodiness; the purpose for this increase in emotion is a powerful passion to live life fully and to capture life being on fire. Covid-19 has made this especially difficult for our teens as the purpose is to enhance zest for life and to prepare for leaving the home... but life is on hold. The exact opposite is happening.

SE: Social Engagement is the reason that our teens push parents away and pull their peers closer. Peer pressure is a risk, but the upside is that supportive relationships are the key factor associated with medical and mental health, longevity, and happiness. Quarantine has made social engagement extremely difficult. Our teen’s brain is literally telling them to “run with their pack” for survival. But they are being forced to stay close to the “weaker” and more “vulnerable” (us parents!). How distressing! This may truly feel like a life or death situation for our teens! 

N: Novelty-seeking emerges from shifts in the brain’s dopamine system. This is the reason teens seek out thrills and risks. The downside is risk-taking and injury, but the upside is having the courage to leave their comfort zone, take risks such as studying abroad, or trying new things. When we don't have the ability to nurture these changes in the brain, there will either be a shut down or a desperate need to engage the reward system in the brain. Our teens that have no novelty outlet may seek novelty in not so healthy ways such as sneaking out, risky online behavior, or pushing other boundaries in hopes to feel alive! 

CE: Creative Exploration of adolescence is found as teens push against the status quo and not simply accepting the world for what it appears to be. Not conforming to life as usual can be disorienting and stressful, however there is a development of passion and the discovery of new innovations! Covid has made this motivation and inspiration to think beyond quarantine life difficult to say the least. We are all just trying to survive day to day. I don't think our teens are alone with being challenged emotionally and spiritually during this pandemic! Sometimes I still ask myself “will this ever be over”.

So what can we do about this? How can we support our teens when there is so much beyond our control? There are some simple ways to support our teens and facilitate the positive development and growth keeping “ESSENCE” in mind. Here are 10 easy ways you support your teens “ESSENCE” in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic: 

● Allow them to feel, validate and accept all their emotions. Be the safe place for these emotions to be expressed. 

● Offer healthy ways for your teen to express, experience, and notice their emotions. Some examples may be through music, writing, dance, journaling, or mindfulness.. 

● Create frequent opportunities for healthy emotional outlets and coping skills.

● Talk about and prepare for what is next. 

● Encourage them to be creative about new ways to interact with their friends. Some examples: outdoor movies, firepit get-togethers, an at home “prom” with a small group of friends. 

● Encourage healthy yet exhilarating and outlets such as skateboarding or rock climbing. 

● Use your relationship to spark conversation and exploration about the world.

● Encourage meditation and/or yoga. 

● Get your teen a therapist. Therapy is a wonderful space for creative exploration.

● Don’t take your teens behavior personally. Yes, I know this is a hard one, but I promise, it is not about you! 

You're still vital in your teens life, as are other mentors and adults. When teens have solid, healthy relationships in their lives that they can count on unconditionally, it becomes much easier to endure the roller coaster of adolescent life with and without a pandemic. 

REFERENCES: Siegel, D.J. (2013). Brainstorm: The power and purpose of the teenage brain. New York: Penguin Putnam.